Attitude Adjustment
by Maura Maud Jadeit
Summary: 'All of our actions have consequences eventually, they might come sooner, they might come later but they always come,' Spencer deals with the betrayal and other problems on his mind, and he has enough of them to spare for few people. Post Proof. Angsty.
1. Adopting Attitude

**Title: **Attitude Adjustment

**Title: **Attitude Adjustment

**Warnings: **Spoilers up to Proof.

**Pairings:** No explicit ones. Reid versus the Team, somewhat Reid & Team centric.

**Summary:** 'All of our actions have consequences eventually, they might come sooner, they might come later but they always come,' Spencer deals with the betrayal and other problems on his mind, and he has enough of them to spare for few people.

**Word count**: About 7 600 with the possibility of going up.

**DISCLAIMER**: The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television own Criminal Minds. I just took them out to play and I promise to put them back when I'm done.

_Feedback__ is __welcomed with open arms._

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><p><em>Anger wishes that all mankind had only one neck; love, that it had only one heart; grief, two tear-glands; and pride, two bent knees.<em>

_Jean Paul Richter_

**Attitude Adjustment: Adopting Attitude**

He was telling the truth when he told Emily that he wasn't sure that he was going to make it to Rossi's yesterday, after she apologized for their deception he gave her elusive answer but he was quite adamant to not go at all and spend the evening and the rest of the weekend at home but his efforts to avoid meeting the team outside the office were stonewalled quite quickly thanks to his annoying, extremely supportive and supposedly well-meaning neighbors.

He was going and that was on order and he knew better than to argue when Jeff Moretti sacrificed better part of his Ultra Hot Date Night just to drive him over to Rossi's place while Kelly Dupoint cancelled his order for pizza and her partner Zoe Howard along with another neighbor, Kate Cameron removed from Spencer's vicinity remaining distractions.

He was evicted from his own apartment without as much as a blink and he only managed to grab his jacket before Jeff dragged him down to the parking and to the car.

They said that he was allowed to have private life and that he was allowed to enjoy it. Kelly and Zoe were present when he brushed off JJ's offer to meet for a brunch over the weekend, Kate saw him turning off his cell-phone later on and Jeff claimed during their on and off semi-weekly evening that he had hard time to keep up with Spencer's tempo and that for Jeff it was saying something and all four of them had claimed that in last few weeks he had undergone a hell of attitude adjustment and not in a good direction either.

So in the end they booted him out from his flat and Jeff delivered him to Rossi's house.

It was utterly humiliating for him to be handled like a hot-tempered teenager but the alternative was even more humiliating and besides if he would be able to control himself for the better part of the evening then he wouldn't have to talk about things other than things he was expected to talk about which meant his trust issues and whatever or not he was going to get another degree.

So he would talk and give the air of slowly letting go of his anger and frustration, he would smile few times, laugh few times to maintain the façade of 'I'm fine, there is nothing wrong with me'. Once the evening would end Morgan or Garcia would drive him home, he would head up, go to sleep and spend the rest of his weekend just like he planned, in the privacy of his flat, with minimal involvement of overly well-meaning neighbors if he would be able to save half of hour for a brunch with Kelly and Zoe or Kate because Jeff surely was going to sleep until early afternoon at the very least.

It was nothing but ironic that the answer to JJ's deception was a deception of his own but he needed more time to adjust to the changes in his life and right now when he needed the support of his team the most he found himself unable to ask for it and he had to rely on support of the people whom up until last three weeks he considered distant though friendly acquaintances.

But that was what he got for leaving in a bohemian community in Chinatown. Naturally considering what aforementioned bohemians were doing for a living which actually as far from bohemian lifestyle as one could get for they were two doctors, plastic surgeon and psychiatrist respectively, one high-school teacher and one ex-prosecutor turned federal agent (not of FBI).

Nevertheless they treated each other like a family and Spencer himself was occasionally adopted for different outings, accompanied Kelly and Kate to occasional medical conference one time here, one time there, argued with Zoe on occasions about French literature and when Jeff was stuck with an extremely annoying cold case he used Spencer as his sounding board.

He really wanted to be back at home even if he would have to get through the wall of frowning females which would try to stop him as soon as he entered his flat on earlier hour than they expected him to come back.

Apparently him being a single father didn't mean that he had to sacrifice his private life on the altar of fatherhood – Zoe's dramatic proclamation supported by Kate's nod and enigmatic grimace.

In fact he had brought it on his head by his own. Subconsciously he knew at some point his past drug-use will come back to haunt him and that he should really consider himself lucky that it ended the way it did. Not that he believed in luck but that was it, he was lucky enough to avoid the worst outcome.

He just wasn't lucky enough to avoid Tracy O'Malley.

Four years ago when the lines between nightmares and horrid crimes he faced everyday were blurring Tracy O'Malley had given him two bottles of Dilaudid for relatively cheap price and he was desperate enough to succumb to her allure. Really, it was flattering and at that moment her warmth, sinful sway of hips and most important back then her drugs were enough to lure him into heated, slightly awkward but rewarding intercourse of sexual nature.

Luckily the only thing he got from her aside of the obvious was mild cold and no STD, which considering circumstances was a small wonder.

Four years was just enough time to put that part of his life behind and move on even if Emily's supposed death had brought the shadows closer to the surface and yes, he told JJ that he thought about starting to take Dilaudid again and it was the truth but the desire to get nicely stoned sized him while he was on an out of state consults with Morgan and unlike JJ who seemed to completely forgot about his stint with drugs Morgan knew better than to allow Spencer to wander off in the direction of the nearest junkyard.

So there he was, he moved past the stage of wandering if being drugged to the gills would dull the ache he felt in his heart whenever he thought about Emily and he moved from thinking to acting with the speed and dedication that raised more than several eyebrows. He started spending more time at the firing range, added an hour here, an hour there to spend at the gym, made running with Jeff more regular thing than in the past two years and then to use the slang and Jeff's favorite idiom, the shit hit the fan, on all fronts.

Emily turned out to be very much alive and back and with Declan being kidnapped he had not a lot of time to concentrate on acknowledging the extent of JJ's betrayal. The idea itself had flashed through his mind but he didn't examined it until after he crawled out from Jeff's guest bathroom where he woke up with a mother of all migraines, the feeling that something quite recently died in his mouth and prompted him to vomit everything he had eaten in past week (practically impossible but that was how he felt back then).

As annoying as it was he was deliriously happy with suspension and the hearing in front of the senate committee because he didn't think that he would be able to maintain a façade of calmness in front of JJ. He knew that in the moment he saw her too early he would fly off the handle, spectacularly on that with very probable involvement of physical violence.

So he stewed in peace for three days, with interruptions brought up by the girls dragging him out for lunch and directing most of his steam towards good causes. Zoe had him involved with helping in homeless kitchen and he spend the second night handing out soup, tea, coffee and sandwiches to the less fortunate ones. Kate's twin nieces and nephew got nicely fixed bookcases. It took him half of hour to assemble the pieces, put each bookcase together and move them to their appropriate rooms before he spend an afternoon with Jeff tailing a suspect of the case Jeff was working on.

The third day after he was suspended he spend in similar fashion, blowing off his steam by physical work and avoiding the team like a plague, he even went as far as to help the owner of his previous flat in his music shop to fill in for the employee who went down with violent food poisoning.

It was simple, the more of physical work, the more of dealing with people he wasn't supposed to trust with his life the calmer he became and the initial fury lowered to irritation under the façade of calmness. It wasn't the best solution but it was enough to get Kelly and Zoe of his back which left more skilled in reading the nuances of facial expressions due to their occupation Jeff and Kate frowning and shaking their heads but since they also let him be and didn't bother him as much as before he was on the best way to calm down to complete coolness just in time for the hearing.

That was his plan, to calm down utterly through the combination of physical work and maintaining the façade of calmness in contact with other people but on the fourth day of the suspension everything went to hell.

Tracy O'Malley was the last person whom he expected to find waiting at his door three weeks ago and she wasn't alone.

Except she left Spencer's apartment building alone and the company she brought with herself stayed with Spencer. The company had three feet and three inches of height and weighed thirty lbs, each. The company also happened to answer to names Noah and Aaron and happened to be three years and eight months old.

And for Spencer past three weeks were crash-course on single parenting of monozygotic twins who couldn't sit straight for longer than a minute and as far as Tracy's finances allowed were spoiled rotten.

The thought of calling the team or at the very least someone from the team had lead nowhere because he didn't trust those who knew the most about parenting any longer and the last thing he wanted from JJ or Hotch was being pitied. He also knew that Morgan was working out his own trust issues in a new house he was planning to flip, Rossi's editor was on the edge of losing his senses thanks to the all delays and calling Garcia on extension meant summoning the whole team.

So he had to rely on the help of his neighbors and their help was gigantic. Between themselves and with few Spencer's directions Jeff and Kate, along with Terry, the PE teacher from third floor had cleaned off Spencer's study by moving most of the bookcases out of the room to his bedroom and sitting room. In the meantime Zoe and Kelly took Spencer's credit card hostage and went on a speed shopping for toddler friendly furniture.

It really took them a day to put together quite smartly furnished room for two boys.

Next crash-course he received or rather the part of the first one was cooking for picky eaters who while not allergic to any food had a long list of dislikes. By the fourth day of fatherhood Spencer was frantic with worry that everything Noah and Aaron would be eating ever will be cold fries because warm were on the list of 'no-no' and cocoa, not exactly a proper diet for growing boys.

Kate managed to shake some sense into him and patiently and repeatedly explained to Spencer that the twins were acting out the abandonment, change of the situation and they were simply checking how far Spencer would allow them to control his life and that the best course of action was patiently showing to them that he was the boss.

Spencer was dubious about her approach and he almost caved in and went to Burger King nearby for the fries when the twins started whining that they were hungry but they didn't even look at the dinner Spencer prepared for them but then he realized that if he caved in once, he would cave in again and again and each time he caved in he would be proving to the boys that they were controlling him and not the other way around.

So he told them that they will either eat their sandwiches for dinner or they would go to sleep hungry and the crestfallen look on their faces made him feel like the lowest vermin on earth and he himself went to bed hungry with guilt weighing heavily on his stomach.

The guilt ebbed slightly after few hours later the boys woke him up saying that they were very hungry and this time previously frowned upon sandwiches were cleared off. Naturally they tried to seize control again and again but Spencer learned his lesson after that night. If he could face off serial killers for a living he could also establish control over a pair of toddlers.

It was hard but it was very slowly becoming easier to ignore fussiness over sweets and toys the twins wanted him to buy and boy his first shopping trip with Aaron and Noah was a literal walk of shame that gave him a headache and made him swear off walks with them for three days when the cabin fever sent him to the park.

In the meantime he read everything about parenting he could get his hands on but better than books were actual advices on parenting. It was also what frustrated him the most. If it wasn't for their deception about Emily Spencer would have turned to JJ, Will and Hotch in the first place, adding their advices to the growing list he was receiving from Kelly and Zoe and Kate, along with the advices of Terry and Mrs Henderson who was a retired preschool teacher. If it wasn't for their deception Spencer would have a proper support system he and the boys needed.

Asking Will for advice was out of questions as long as he remained angry with JJ.

Somehow he managed to make through the suspension and the hearing without losing his mind but what followed shattered what remained from his façade of calmness.

Everybody was acting as if nothing had changed, as if they all hadn't been fucked over for greater good. Yes it was pretty strong choice of words but it was exactly how he felt.

Garcia was excited that Emily was alive, Rossi didn't even blink and Hotch and JJ acted as if nothing had changed. The only difference was that Emily's return cooled down a great deal the relationship between Morgan and Hotch, but Morgan didn't initially act hostile towards Emily and didn't give any indication of being hostile to JJ and if he did Spencer wasn't there to see it.

That Hotch expected them to be angry with him and him alone for making this decision was almost laughable and almost naïve for someone as experienced as Hotch. True, Hotch was a part of the deceit but he wasn't the only person who knew the truth and he certainly didn't remember what Aristotle wrote: anyone can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy.

Spencer reminded Hotch of it when they were down in Oklahoma. Hotch wasn't the one he went to cry because of Spencer's courtesy to not bestow upon Hotch his own grief when Haley's death was still so recent, yes, over a year had passed but Spencer had a feeling that Haley's death was still affecting Jack and therefore affecting Hotch. For Jack's sake Spencer avoided going to Hotch aside of that laughable grief counseling session and now he was only glad that he didn't go to Hotch because at least now he had the satisfaction of proving Hotch wrong, reminding him that sometimes what one wanted the most they weren't going to get.

But everything was different with JJ. She was his best friend and he trusted her to understand how much he needed support to do what he was doing and still keep his composure in front of the rest of the team. Being over at her house, spending time with her, Will and Henry comforted him a great deal. Quietly he admired her composure, her patience and her understanding. Her support helped him regain his footing.

When he was with Aaron and Noah they had his undivided attention and he didn't allow himself to think about anything else than doing right by them, pleasing them while still remaining in control and the only time he allowed his thoughts to wander past his sons was when they were sleeping and in the waking hours of the morning.

And with each day of everything being all right at the surface because what really should matter was having Emily back he was getting more and more frustrated and more and more angry.

So he brushed her off, repeatedly. He ignored her invitations, hid behind non-existent class schedules, taking care of the problems with his mum (that part was actually true, except he handled the problems with her medication over the phone but she didn't need to know that he was spending the weekend with his sons).

Her fixation to draw him out from his stupor and to finally get him to talk made him finally lose it and answer to the invitation for confrontation. He wanted to slap her for implicating, for daring to think that what hurt him the most about the deception was that he was unable to decipher it from the start. He couldn't believe that she of all people would have said something like that about him but then again she had done a lot of things he never expected her to do, like lying to him while looking him straight in the eye.

Calling her Jennifer was a first because all of her friends called her JJ and the only person who called her differently was Will when he called her Jen or Jenny, even if mostly he called her JJ like the others. No one who know her called her Jennifer.

Bringing up Dilaudid had a desired effect on her. He wouldn't have shaken her harder even if he actually hit her physically and that he was keeping his mouth shut while she was nicking his parsley didn't mean that he was going to trust her again.

Cooking allowed his mind to wander back home to his, by now, sleeping sons. He knew that they were in good care. After all they were under Kate's, Kelly's and Zoe's care and whom like whom he could trust experienced mothers to handle two sleeping toddlers while he was with the team.

Last three days only proved that. Sure he missed Noah and Aaron like crazy and they missed him just as much but he knew that they were taken care off while he was gone. While the girls were at work and their own kids were at daycare Noah and Aaron were with Mrs Henderson because Spencer didn't manage to settle the issues with daycare yet. Initially they stayed with Kate who had the most stable hours from all of them and the biggest flat but Kelly and Zoe along with Jeff helped Kate and her nephew to manage them when she needed a hand or two.

There was a difference between knowing that his sons were fine and being there himself to make sure of it.

He really wanted to come back home.

"Henry misses your visits," JJ said suddenly.

He knew that it was an opportunity to prove good will but he wasn't going to give her that. It was too soon so he ignored it and kept to his parsley. He still had about an hour, more like an hour and half before he could return home and he was planning to eat something in the meantime.

Except he could feel her starring at him expectantly so he grudgingly admitted, "I'm busy this weekend and the one after that too."

"It doesn't have to be weekend visit," JJ offered.

"Tight schedule," he muttered.

"He is in Baltimore from Monday to Wednesday," Hotch said as he passed. "I've already booked us a hotel."

Damn. Fooled again.

"Unbook my reservation," Spencer shrugged.

"You are listed as a speaker," Hotch reminded him.

"I said unbook my reservation, Hotch," Spencer pointed out tersely. "I didn't say that I'm not going to attend it because I'm going but I'm not planning to stay in Baltimore for the night."

"So you are going to drive from DC to Baltimore back and forth for three days?" Hotch asked skeptically.

"I'm more surprised that you are making designs at spending three days and two nights away from home three days after you came back from a case," Spencer said simply. "Especially since your progeny just went to first grade. But hey, I'm not a single father of a first grader."

Just a single father of two active toddlers and I want to be home every night I can to do as much as put them to sleep, he thought to himself.

"So you wouldn't mind coming around to read Henry a bedtime story?" JJ asked hopefully. "He misses you, Spence."

Spencer didn't say a word and started slicing tomatoes for the salad. Except now it wasn't just JJ who was staring at the back of his head. It was Hotch and also Rossi, who was looking at him from the side, which meant that in a span of thirty seconds he was going to have the eyes of the whole team on him.

He really should have stayed home and if not then he should have went out with Jeff, sure he would be bored out of his mind but at the very least it would please the saint trio that he went out.

It felt like he pissed off a very moody and still unknown deity. If he said exactly what he was thinking about JJ lowering herself to guilty-trip him about Henry then he would screw the whole evening and Rossi, Garcia and Morgan didn't deserve to be caught in the middle. But if he wouldn't say something, and fast on that the rest of the team, especially Garcia would spend the evening at questioning him senseless.

There had to be some middle ground and he had to find it. There was also the truth and after everything he had been through in past seventh months and especially in past three weeks he didn't want to have his life dissected and he didn't want to be pitied.

Except the remaining alternative was undergoing humiliating to him psych evaluations and Hotch was getting closer and closer to directing him to one very soon.

"Excuse me," he heard Rossi saying. "Reid, can you give me a hand?"

"Just as long as you aren't planning to have me making a soufflé, because you picked the last person who is able to make it look good," Spencer said simply.

"No, I need you in the cellar," Rossi said and he lead Spencer out of the room.

Except instead of leading Spencer to the cellar Rossi lead him to the patio by the swimming pool.

"It wasn't working," Rossi said simply. "And if you kept abusing the parsley any longer your fingers would be next."

"I'm capable of controlling myself," Spencer grimaced.

"Deep inside you know that they didn't have a choice," Rossi pointed out. "And you are still angry and about to chew JJ again. Rightfully or not."

"I shouldn't have come here," Spencer admitted.

"I didn't say that," Rossi shrugged. "I happen to know that out of the whole team you are one of two people capable of not burning the dinner that requires more attention than throwing a steak on the grill which has to be turned over few times."

"So taste wise I came here to make sure that Morgan has something edible on his plate," Spencer said humorlessly. "And I hazard a guess that Hotch is the only other person you trust in the kitchen."

"Correct," Rossi smirked. "You know that the purpose of cooking the dinner was more than eating it and right now you are wounded up tighter than a string and whatever is bugging you right now runs deeper under the surface than your issues with JJ."

"Those issues are just as big," Spencer shrugged. "I'm capable of handling them on my own as long as some people don't make a carnal mistake of questioning my profiling skills in the field and pretending that because the team is back together everything is fine. And the sooner JJ will get rid of her naivety that everything can be fixed with simple I'm sorry the better for her and if I'm the one teaching her that lesson then so be it. Trust isn't given, Rossi, it has to be earned and I'm not going to pretend that everything is okay when it's not."

"Brunch tomorrow?" Rossi offered.

"Don't you have one of those soccer trainings tomorrow?" Spencer asked skeptically.

"I do but they aren't going to take the whole morning you know and Aaron can take a hint," Rossi said simply.

Spencer frowned. He knew Hotch well enough to know that as long as team's stability was on the line hint wasn't something which Hotch would take willingly. But Jack's presence will keep Hotch from raising the most pressing issues.

"I'll be there," Spencer sighed. "Just don't expect me to cheer loudly."

"You know that if you want to leave I can cover for you," Rossi offered. "Not that I'm kicking you out."

"If I will leave now I assure you that most of them will end being camped in front of my door within next half of hour," Spencer grimaced. "And someone has to save us from Morgan's sauce."

He spend the rest of the evening at cooking and making small talk with Morgan over past consults in Baltimore and at maintaining the air of civility towards JJ in front of the team.

He gave her an elusive answer to her question about visiting. He wasn't planning to show up or accept any invitations anyway but a definite no will raise Garcia's attention and the last thing he wanted was being estranged with the only woman on the team who didn't lie to him for months.

He denied JJ's offer to drop him to his house and hitched a ride home with Morgan who was going in opposite direction altogether but nevertheless offered Spencer a ride. Another alternative was hitching a ride with Hotch and right now he didn't want to talk with Hotch all on his own.

The ride was silent unlike the dinner and Spencer said all but ten words altogether before Morgan dropped him off in front of Spencer's apartment building.

He made his way up the fourth floor, through the corridor and down to his door.

It was fifteen minutes past ten and the twins for sure were sleeping in their beds. Dimly lit kitchen and the surrounding silence only confirmed his assumption but he went to check upon them nevertheless.

Noah was sprawled on his stomach, with his left hand clutching on white teddy bear he called Mr Fuzzy. His curly brown hair were spread over his head like a halo.

Spencer smiled at the sight and tucked the covers around him before he moved to Aaron's bed.

Unlike his twin Aaron was sleeping on his back but his hair were fanned over his head like a halo exactly like Noah's. He wasn't clutching on a toy but had his left arm wrapped around small pillow and he completely kicked down the covers.

It was funny how for monozygotic twins the two of them could be completely different at times.

"A sight from sore eyes, aren't they?" he heard from the doorway. "I'm sorry for leaving them but I had to read the riot act to Lian and check upon the girls."

"I don't mind," Spencer said quietly to not wake the boys. "Do you think that the administration would allow us to install doors with the intercom on the corridor?"

"Only if we will fund it," Kate said simply. "How was dinner?"

"Just like I expected," Spencer shrugged. "A bit funny, a bit terse. I would manage without it but part of me is glad that I was able…"

"To test a façade of I'm fine, there is nothing wrong with me?" she offered.

"That too," Spencer grimaced. "And I failed spectacularly. Rossi knows that something is up other than the obvious, Hotch suspects something too and JJ was…"

"Hopeful that you got over it?" she supplied.

"I didn't and I won't anytime soon, Kate," Spencer shrugged as he motioned her out of the room and followed her to the living-room. "I can afford being civil to her but I'm not going to apologize for anything I said to her in past three days. It doesn't work that way and I'm definitely disinclined to trust her again the way I used to."

"Do you want to talk about it?" she offered.

"I do, but not with you and not today. It's a talk for which I need to prepare myself mentally and right now I really don't feel like it," he sighed.

"Okay, you know where to find me if you will change your mind," she said simply. "Have fun tomorrow and don't let Jeff talk you into borrowing the twins to impress his latest conquest."

"You too," Spencer nodded. "How long you will be gone?"

"Weekend for sure, probably I will be away until Wednesday but Kelly and Zoe are staying in town this week and Jeff's team is off the rotation for four days through the end of the week," she said. "He will for sure try to drag you out."

"Just as long as it won't be clubbing I will be fine," Spencer said. "Have a safe flight."

"Bye," she smiled. "I will see you next week either way."

She left his flat and after he closed the door behind her Spencer dropped his jacket and wandered to the shower. Ten minutes later he was sleeping like a baby.

**Attitude Adjustment**

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please!"

"No. Way."

"Spencer!"

"Stop acting like a toddler, Jeff."

"Please! It's just half of hour, Spencer and I solemnly swear that I will return them to you before the time will run out. If I will be late even for a minute I will give you my company cap."

Spencer rolled his eyes. For six o'clock in the morning he was really starting the day from the wrong foot, not that he was firm believer of the folktale that the side of the bed you dragged yourself from would be able to affect your day.

In the end whatever or not he get up from his bed on the left side didn't matter because what roused him from sleep was Jeff's insistent knocking on his door.

Kate was right about Jeff wanting to borrow the twins to impress his latest conquest and judging by Jeff's whining and his persistence he slept the night in his own bed which meant that the woman he hooked up with didn't belong to the kind of easy ones.

"Wrong company, Jeff," Spencer shrugged and he resumed preparing the coffee. "The answer is no. I'm not letting the twins out from my sight with you just because you want to impress a woman."

"It's not a woman, Spencer," Jeff said quickly. "She is the woman and she has a five years old son."

"She ditched you, stop obsessing," Spencer said simply. "My answer won't change."

"Twenty minutes?" Jeff groaned. "Just few circles around the field and few minutes of conversation?"

"Which field?" Spencer muttered.

"Soccer field at Walker-Jones Elementary," Jeff said quickly. "Her son is playing."

Walker-Jones Elementary. Jack's match was supposed to be there. So either way Spencer was going to listen to Jeff's whining all the way. He might as well succumb now instead of later.

"Twenty minutes, half of an hour tops and if they will be gone from my sight for longer than an hour I will charge you with kidnapping," Spencer muttered.

In the end he was glad that he left the twins with Jeff because as soon as he stepped onto the playground because when he approached the crowd he saw that Hotch and Rossi weren't the only members of the team at the field.

JJ and Henry were with them, though Will didn't seem to be around. He had a little time to turn around and disappear but knowing Jeff and knowing that the twins will carry out his instructions he had no other choice but to stay.

JJ spotted him quite quickly, under two minutes and like a master manipulator Spencer considered her lately she unleashed on him the only thing which would make sure that he won't do a runner on the spot, Henry.

Henry spotted him as soon as he was let out from the stroller and he ran to Spencer happily as fast as his short legs allowed him.

"Uncle Spence!" he squealed happily before he wrapped his arms around Spencer's legs.

"Hey Henry," Spencer smiled after small, defeated sigh. "How are you today young man?"

"Great!" Henry piped up. "We are going to play after the match and then we will go to have a… have a…"

"Brunch?" Spencer offered as he picked him up.

Henry nodded.

"Your dad is somewhere around?" Spencer asked hopefully.

If Will was around he would have to hold himself together and he would be able to distract JJ for long enough to pull a runner, grab Jeff with the twins (hopefully still in possession of his mental capacities) and come back home. But if Will wasn't around it changed a lot.

"Will is in New York," JJ said quickly. "One of his friends is getting married and he is a best man, so he and the rest have a stag party."

"I'm sure that he will behave," Spencer quipped.

"Listen Spence…" JJ started.

Spencer stared at her with a sneer which seemed to block her but only for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Spence. I'm sorry that I lied to you but we didn't have a choice…" she started. "I feel so horrible…"

"If you are trying to guilty-trip me, Jennifer it's not going to work," Spencer said simply. "All of our actions have consequences eventually, they might come sooner, they might come later but they always come and if someone is unable to bear the consequences then they shouldn't take their actions in the first place. You lied to me, Jennifer. You didn't lie about something small that can be forgiven easily. You lied to me repeatedly in one of the lowest time of my life. Don't expect me to act as if last seven months didn't happen at all because they did happen. Don't expect me to forget it because I won't and not because I have an eidetic memory. I don't need an eidetic memory to always remember that my best friend, someone whom I trusted blindly betrayed all trust I put in her. Am I angry with you? Hell, yes. Will I ever forgive you? Eventually. Will I trust you again? In a line of duty sooner rather than later but outside of work… that day isn't going to come anytime soon."

"Spence…" she started.

"You know…" Spencer grimaced. "We actually buried something in Emily's grave other than empty coffin, me more than the rest. Now if you wouldn't mind I would like to spend some time with my godson without the eventuality of getting an ulcer. We will be somewhere around the field."

With that he turned on his heel and walked away towards the other end of the field, with dragging Henry's stroller in his other hand . He fully expected JJ to follow him but apparently she realized that he didn't want to approach the issue anytime soon, that Henry wrapped himself tightly around Spencer most probably helped.

He realized his mistake quite quickly when he spotted twitchy eyed Jeff by the end of the field with the twins in the state of what Kelly and Zoe deemed pan and demonium.

"I was…" Jeff mumbled. "I've got called away on a case… I really, really, really have to go Spencer. I'm so sorry…"

"Scram," Spencer sighed. "Did it work?"

"She wasn't there," Jeff muttered before he started walking away.

The twins looked at Spencer expectantly while still chorusing the list of wants.

"Okay, you can stop now," Spencer smiled at them. "And as promised," he let go of Henry's stroller and started rummaging in the storage bag in search of a prize, "candy bar," he said quickly as he started tearing off the wrapping of one and handed it to Noah before he unwrapped another and handed it to Aaron.

Henry's pout over not being given the candy disarmed him completely and Spencer pulled out the candy bar he saved for himself and unwrapped it.

After appeasing the sugar intake of three toddlers he started thinking about logistical horror he just managed to maneuver himself into. Jeff was gone, JJ was on the other side of the field and Hotch and Rossi were on the other side of the field and he had with himself three toddlers in two strollers and only one pair of hands.

If he was surrounded by lesser crowd he would have let out Aaron and Noah from the stroller so they could push it on their own. It was one of their most entertaining activity every time they went to the park. But he was surrounded by parents with small kids and they boys would be able to get lost easily in the crowd.

Walking around the field again was out of questions so he dragged the strollers a bit farther from the crowd and pulled out small ball.

After few minutes of initial shyness and suspicious looks thrown both ways he was participating in a small, mock soccer game on his own in the accompaniment of all around giggles and snickers.

It was almost ironic that his sons and his godson had hit off so nicely when Henry's mother was the last person Spencer wanted to see outside of work.

The three of them had played through the major part of the match and when they grew bored with chasing the ball they moved to the game of the most chaotic tag Spencer ever observed.

Finally they climbed into their strollers with expectant looks on their faces and Spencer had seen that look enough times on all three of them to know that it was the time for recovery and a short story.

He was almost finished when he was tackled from behind by a human bullet which quickly wrapped its arms around him with an excited giggle, "Uncle Spencer!"

"Hi Jack," Spencer smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm great," Jack said happily. "Did you watch the match?"

"Only a part of it," Spencer admitted. "But you were great."

Jack looked at him, then at the stroller and then back at Spencer again.

"You didn't meet Noah and Aaron yet," Spencer said. "This is Noah," he pointed at his left side of the stroller and then moved his hand to his right side, "and this is Aaron. They are my sons."

"So they are like my cousins, right?" Jack asked eagerly. "Like Henry."

"Like Henry," Spencer nodded.

"So I have another aunt?" Jasked asked hopefully.

"No," Spencer shook his head. "Their mum is very, very far away and she isn't coming back."

"Oh," Jack mumbled and for a moment he looked pensive before he added, "But they have you so it's okay, right?"

"Right," Spencer nodded. "Come one we will get to your father but I need your help with Henry's stroller."

With Jack's help he managed to come back where JJ and Hotch were waiting along with Rossi. The pair had their backs turned to Spencer and it was Rossi who saw Spencer first. He froze for a moment before he smirked to himself and nodded in his direction.

Spencer froze inwardly. He wasn't ready for it, not yet. Kids? Kids he could stand, kids he could control and even fool into thinking that everything was great. Without doubt JJ relayed to Hotch what he said and this time he was in trouble.

Or worse they all were reaching the conclusion that the strain of dealing with problems with his mum along with single parenthood… Wait! He didn't advertize that he was single parent but he was so wounded up that he was ready to predict their possible reactions when they learned that he was a single parent.

Right in that moment he had nowhere to turn. He could of course turn around and come back home but then he would be avoiding the confrontation and he had enough of it.

He was unable to read Hotch's and JJ's expressions from this distance, they both froze when they saw him with the kids. Rossi's former smirk became the look Spencer learned to associate with concern under the surface of joviality. He was smiling but he was also standing a bit straighter.

"I didn't expect that," Rossi admitted when Spencer was within twenty feet from the group. "Were you holding out on us or was it very recent development?"

"The former," Spencer said simply. "I hit the jackpot of shocks for the month and I'm going to promptly ignore next revelation that comes by. Trust me, we might be converted into a gospel choir and I won't even blink. I won't sing either."

"For a recent development it's surprisingly big," Rossi said pointedly.

"It's recent for me," Spencer shrugged. "It took me some time to get used to the idea but it also proved that I'm capable of dealing with one life-altering revelation at time and since I happen to live with one the choice was obvious. I'm handling it better than I expected that I will be able to handle it and seriously, I'm fine. A bit more sleep deprived, a bit more tired with the mountain ride but it gets better day by day, certainly less bumpy."

"How recent?" Hotch asked cautiously.

"Three weeks and before you will ask, no, I'm not transferring the issues between my home and work. Trust me, if I did you will know because the day when I would let my job affect how I treat my sons or my fatherhood affect my job in not a good way would be the day before I will turn over to you my badge and my gun," Spencer said stiffly. "And it isn't happening anytime soon."

"Their mother…" JJ started.

"Is in Australia," Spencer said simply. "Sydney, last time I checked. No plans for return, she forfeited all parental rights and I was granted the whole custody. And before you ask, I'm fine."

"It explains why you don't want to stay in Baltimore for the night," Hotch said. "And why you delivered me riot act for staying."

"Does it surprise you?" Spencer rolled his eyes.

"That, no," Hotch said simply. "It's the whole idea that surprises me… but I will shake it off. One is slipping away."

Spencer looked down just to see Noah inching towards the soccer ball.

"Noah?" Spencer asked calmly. "What do we say when we want to leave?"

"Can I?" Noah asked innocently.

"That and what else?" Spencer pressed the issue a bit harder.

"Please, Papa?" Noah chimed.

"Can I too, Daddy?" Aaron asked curiously.

"And me?" Henry piped up.

"Yes, but don't go too far," Spencer nodded and then turned to Jack. "Jack could you make sure that they won't run away too far?"

Jack nodded quickly.

"Noah and…?" Rossi asked curiously.

"Aaron," Spencer said simply as he eyed the bunch who started inspecting the soccer ball. "There are only three ways to tell them apart. One is calling out their names and waiting which will say Daddy or which will say Papa. The other is giving them a carrot or a banana to chew. Aaron won't touch a banana and Noah won't look at the carrot. The third is freckles on the back of their necks, Noah has them, Aaron doesn't."

"Good names, wear well," Rossi smirked.

"You think so?" Spencer snorted. "Spend a half of an hour with them and you will change your mind. Noah is calm and mellow but he is capable of staring a broccoli into submission, he posses the power of a pout that can put Henry's pout into shame. Aaron is the complete opposite, persistent to the point of bullying, bull-headed and nine times out of ten he has a retort to everything."

"Sound like someone I know," Rossi chuckled.

"Yeah, like his father," Hotch muttered. "They both took their character after him."

"They seem to be having fun together," JJ said gently.

"That doesn't change anything, Jennifer," Spencer muttered. "You made your choice, live with it."

_Three things cannot long stay hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth._

_Gautama Siddhartha, the Buddha_

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	2. Standing the Ground

**Title: **Attitude Adjustment

**Warnings: **Spoilers up to Proof.

**Pairings:** No explicit ones. Reid versus the Team, somewhat Reid & Team centric.

**Summary:** "I doubt that we will have an occasion to work on a case together again and especially out of the state but can I ask you for one thing if it happens?" Spencer deals with the betrayal and other problems on his mind, and he has enough of them to spare for few people. Spencer runs into a former comrade.

**Word count**: About 12 000 and heading up.

**DISCLAIMER**: The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television own Criminal Minds. I just took them out to play and I promise to put them back when I'm done.

_Feedback__ is __welcomed with open arms._

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><p><em>Man — is his dignity.<em>

_Simon Soloveychik_

**Attitude Adjustment: Standing the Ground.**

"Reid…" Hotch started.

"I know, Hotch, we talked about this," Spencer said simply. "It didn't work because last time I checked emotions didn't listen to logic or orders and correct me if I'm wrong and I know that I'm not the decision to 'kill' Emily came from within the Department of Defense and last time I checked you were employed by the Department of Justice on every post. Please remind me who was on whose paycheck seventh months ago."

"That's the closest you had come to admitting that you are mad at me," Hotch said calmly.

"I'm not mad at you," Spencer snorted. "I envy you that you were the only person from the whole team who wasn't blindsided. I envy you that apparently you were high enough on the chain of command to deserve the truth. I thought about going to you but I decided against it. Do you want to know why?"

Hotch nodded.

Spencer looked at Jack and said quietly, "He didn't deserve to be reminded of his own pain by seeing, even for a spare second someone else falling apart. Now excuse me, I have places to be, people to meet. Noah! Aaron! Come on, let's go."

The twins pouted but they climbed into the stroller nevertheless.

It felt like running away and in some way it was running away even if he kept his steps deliberately on normal peace and he held his head up high and his shoulders straight.

He let the cat out of the bag once and now he needed to get the feline out of the bag again with the rest of the team. Morgan and Garcia didn't deserve another deception, especially from him and Emily…

He really didn't know how he felt about her now. She was back with them again and it was good, it was great but on some level he was irritated by her comparison of mourning the loss of friends. She probably wasn't lying but at the very least she had comfort that there rest of them were alive and in one piece which wasn't something that could be said about the rest of the team.

It was a wonder that Hotch didn't write up the whole team for counseling and a round of trust exercises yet and if he will eventually boy it would be awkward with capital A.

Speaking about awkward there was something which would make Emily more awkward than even distinctive suggestion that his elusive answer to renewed invitation to Rossi's was more of 'no way' than 'I'm not sure' kind of answer.

He smirked to himself and he send a mass text to Morgan, Garcia and Emily that said: 'Lunch at Ruby Tuesday in 1hr? My treat.'

Two minutes later he received answers that varied from '1hr and 10m – sp' through 'sure' and 'hell yes'.

But the next one was the call he had to make.

There were only few numbers on his cell-phone which he ever deleted. His father, how he managed to get Spencer's number Spencer didn't know and wasn't planning on finding out, but for a good measure he went through annoying procedure of redirecting all numbers which his father could use to call him to his stationary phone. The other numbers that disappeared from his list was all phones to Tracy O'Malley and Robert Jordan, drug-dealers. The last one was the number to Gideon's cell phone, it arrived few days after Chula Vista on a postcard from New Orleans and with the cravings reaching out more and more persistently Spencer wrote the number down but not even when he was at his lowest he made a call. He deleted Gideon's number after Henry was born and later on he didn't bother to find out if it was still active.

Ashley Seaver's number was still on his cell and even though her transfer happened while he was in Vegas on sabbatical he still managed to get one evening during the month to participate in an outing and the call he was going to make was two weeks overdue at the very least.

"I'm sorry but I can't go to a movie night this week," was the first thing she said. "I'm spending first week of my AL at baby-sitting my niece and Friday 13th isn't the best choice for a movie for a four years old."

"I know," Spencer said lightly. "At this age even Lion King has them bawling their eyes out and it's supposedly for all audience. I wasn't calling about movie night anyway. Do you have time for lunch? I wanted to have a pleasant meal for a change."

"Chinatown?"

"Ruby Tuesday in about an hour."

"Can it be a bit earlier than an hour? I went for a ride and I need to come back home to change before I will go to pick up Mona."

"I'm about fifteen to twenty minutes away from it."

"Walking?"

"Yep."

"New York Avenue NW?"

"That too," Spencer nodded.

"Left or right?"

"Left. Why are you asking?"

"Because I'm riding about a hundred feet behind a guy that could pass as your double from behind when it comes to height and hair color and he even happens to be talking on the phone. What jacket you are wearing?"

"Company issued tracksuit jacket with a hood, the letters on the back washed off," Spencer answered simply. "Does the guy in question happens also to push a black, side-by-side stroller?"

"How did you…" Ashley muttered and then she added. "It's you, isn't it?"

Spencer turned around just as Ashley was within forty feet away from him and he waved at her. She shook her head quickly before she lined up with the stroller.

"That was surprising," she said as she hopped off the bike. "I never saw you looking this casual."

"I can't go frolicking on grass in my dress pants and contrary to popular belief I owe casual clothes, I just didn't have many occasions to wear them often," Spencer shrugged.

She looked at the twins curiously.

"Part of the reason why I didn't call lately," Spencer said simply. "Recent and permanent development, I really don't want to talk about it twice and right now you are one of the few people who wouldn't judge me for things I had no control of."

"I'm not judging," she said simply. "I'm just curious. Late threes, early fours?"

"Late threes. Three years and almost nine months without thirteen days," Spencer answered. "Noah and Aaron and I wasn't responsible for naming."

"They look cute," Ashley smiled at the boys.

"That they do," Spencer nodded. "Look cute I mean but I wouldn't trade them for the world anyway."

"So I'm your moral support against?" she asked.

"The force of nature also known as Garcia, Morgan whose reaction I cannot really predict right now because there is a lot going on and my attention span outside of work had been affected in past few weeks and Emily…"

"I heard," Ashley nodded. "How are you holding up?"

"In overall or in specific areas?" Spencer sighed. "In overall I'm good. Better than I was three weeks ago and the boys serve as a good distraction from all work related issues. But that's home, BAU in overall is a completely different basket. It's not exactly healthy working environment you know."

"But things had gotten worse," she offered.

"In a way," Spencer nodded. "In a way I'm making it worse for the others and in a way everybody is making it worse to everybody. Aside from big brother from Capitol watching our work-related moves we are watching how the others are handling the issues and during past week I had been reduced to acting out teenager who apparently gets petty because he had been deceived by people he trusted blindly and I had three mother hens chastising me for pointing out the obvious," he paused and then after a sigh he added slowly, "I doubt that we will have an occasion to work on a case together again and especially out of the state but can I ask you for one thing if it happens, Ashley?"

"Of course," she said gently.

"If our work-paths will ever cross on a local case away from Quantico and when it happens you would be able to tell that I'm not at my best, that something aside of the details of the case is affecting me can you never, and I mean never, challenge my profiling skills and how my current state of mind affects them in front of the local LEOs? It would matter a great deal to me."

"I promise," she said solemnly. "Who had done it?"

"JJ," Spencer muttered. "Which makes it even worse. She was my best friend and I used to foolishly, I admit it, believe that she would never betray my trust, that she wouldn't deliberately hurt me, that there won't a thing with which I would be unable to go to her and that if she ever done something to hurt or offend me that her I'm sorry would be enough to forgive her."

"Emotions are irrational," Ashley said gently. "And understanding and empathy isn't a bottomless well. When someone finds themselves pulled in too many directions something has to give and when we let go we let go of the things and people who hurt us the most. Righteous anger doesn't make you a monster, it makes you human and I think that if your friendship really matters to her she will do everything to mend the fences."

"And if I don't want to?" Spencer snorted.

"Will this answer be the same say three months from now?" Ashley asked pointedly. "You don't know that. Perhaps it will change, perhaps not. How long you had been friends?"

"Over seven years," Spencer sighed. "Did you read one of your father's letters?"

"Everybody has their own definition of unforgivable," Ashley said simply. "But sometimes unforgivable is forgivable and sometimes it's not."

"It's unforgivable right now," Spencer nodded.

"If it becomes unbearable Andi would love to help," Ashley offered.

"Thanks for the offer," Spencer quipped. "I will keep it in mind but if someone will run away from BAU it's not going to be me. There are only three ways for me to leave. In the coffin or through retirement, either forced or willing."

"You ever got to write those pesky lists of your best and worst qualities?" Ashley asked skeptically.

"Bull-headed stubbornness makes both of them," Spencer shrugged. "If I didn't have it in past three weeks I'm not sure if we would be able to talk right now. I'm a trained negotiator and I had never been stonewalled so many times through over eight years of my career like I had been in past three weeks by the two of them. Brace yourself for a week of AL that would make you glad for having the second week."

"I know, Mona is going through 'NO!' phase," Ashley nodded. "I have an idea how to deal with it but I'm not sure if it's going to work."

"Bulgarian?" Spencer suggested. "No is yes and yes is no. It should work. Call me when you will get an effect."

"You won't try it yourself?"

"I'm a single father of twins, I'm supposed to live with them not wish that I should commit myself to psychiatric ward for extended stay," Spencer deadpanned. "By the end of the week you will give your niece back to your brother, the twins will be staying with me permanently."

"Were you in the field since you became a father?"

"Durant, Oklahoma, for four days," Spencer nodded. "My neighbors were taking care of them while I was gone. Three mothers and one as of late twitchy-eyed uncle. I'm afraid that the twenty minutes taste of what being single father is like left him thinking about undergoing vasectomy," he smirked and then he added more seriously, "I'm sure he will be fine… Someday."

"Dating type?" Ashley asked curiously.

"Depends," Spencer shrugged. "Stable relationships aren't his strongest suit, according to him it's because all women he in so far dated are housewives on rebound and I never seen him with the same woman more than three times. He fits the type that attracts women looking for a fling and horizontal dancing. Half-Italian, half-Irish. Tall, sporty brunet with blue eyes, can dance, big fan of Woody Allen's movies, cappuccino and Agatha Christie. Can cook and enjoys it. Why are you asking?"

"One of my fellow handlers is going through a very messy divorce," Ashley said simply. "Petite red-head, green-eyed. Early thirties. Likes to dance and watch Charlie Chaplin."

"Well he isn't very much into red-heads but green-eyed part would capture his attention," Spencer nodded. "I can persuade him to hold a comedy night and we will see what becomes of it."

"Schemer," Ashley smirked.

"Profiler, I make a living from observing other people," Spencer shrugged. "And I'm allowed to have some fun."

"And fun is playing matchmaker?" Ashley asked curiously.

"You are talking about very noble though slightly forgotten art of making people happy. You are still in modern art and homemade sushi?" he asked curiously.

"No, you won't," Ashley squalled.

"Come on, humor me and come to the party with your red-haired friend, perhaps you will see something that you like, perhaps you won't. At the very least you will spend few hours in nice company watching the master of the comedy," Spencer smirked.

"You never do anything by halves, don't you?" Ashley asked in defeat. "One evening, that's all I promise."

"Trust me, one evening is all I need," Spencer said simply.

"I can see that," Ashley quipped as she motioned at the twins.

"Technically it wasn't evening, Smarty-pants," Spencer shrugged.

The banter and being able to give Ashley his side of story helped a great deal as much as much as it was unusual for him to confide in other people than the team. But Ashley used to be a part of the team no matter how brief that time was and he learned the hard way that confiding only in the members of the team leads to nothing good when something is affecting the team.

It wasn't what he really wanted but lately he felt a bit better just for having someone at all to whom he could go and rant, someone who understood certain aspects of his life or his work. Once upon time it used to be Gideon, then JJ, whom he trusted first and foremost, then Morgan and the rest of the team. But Morgan was going through a hard time on his own and JJ made her choice.

There were certain people to whom he went with various things in past three weeks. Kelly, Zoe and Kate covered all of his issues as a parent between themselves, with Jeff he talked about the job, with worries about his mum he went to Kate, just like he went with cravings to John. It wasn't ideal but it was better than nothing and it felt good to get some things off his chest.

They made it to Ruby Tuesday as they talked and Spencer left Ashley by his favorite table with the stroller while he went to the toilet with the boys because they got the call of nature.

When he emerged from the bathroom five minutes later he saw that Garcia, Morgan and Emily were already seated at the table on the opposite side of the restaurant and they didn't seem to see him yet.

He shook his head and directed Noah and Aaron back to their table. The twins climbed into the seat and immediately pouted because they were barely able to see over the edge of the table.

"Logistic issues of parenting the toddlers," he muttered. "The tables are always too high and the seats too far away for them to kneel on."

"So let's thank mother nature that she had given us knees," Ashley said simply. "Come on, sweetie," she said to Aaron who was sitting closer to her as she patted her knees. "You will sit with Aunt Ashley."

"Is that how every womanizer starts?" Spencer smirked as he moved Noah to sit on his knees.

But he didn't wait for an answer because he saw Garcia looking out through the window. He shook his head, pulled out his cell-phone and texted her, 'Look the other way.'

She read the text, looked wildly around, didn't appear to see him and came back to looking through the window.

"Perception is an itch," Spencer muttered as he shook his head.

"Don't be too hard on her," Ashley said simply. "In this outfit and company you might as well go completely undercover. Come to think about it if you had bandana holding your hair and a toothpick you would safely get through every alley after midnight."

"Are you saying that I look like a domesticated crack-hole?" Spencer asked, once again censoring the curse.

"No," she smirked. "But you could pass for one if you didn't shave for a week and put on the bandana."

Spencer smirked and he pulled his purple scarf from around his neck as he said, "Give me a moment and you will see one."

After that he folded the scarf in half, wrapped it over his head so it was pulling away the hair from his face and tied it in the back, "Now?"

"Domesticated street musician without a guitar," Ashley quipped.

Right then he received the text from Garcia that said, 'Where are you Boy Wonder?'

He texted back, 'RB TSD. LK THR WAY, SRSLY.'

He received, 'I only saw a biker and a street musician with twins and an old lady.'

He showed the text to Ashley who giggled softly before he wrote back, 'M NT OLD LADY.'

He observed Garcia when she read it at loud and how the trio looked wildly around, bypassed the lady and fixed there gazes on him before he smirked and waved at the waitress Holly.

By the time Holly arrived to the table Garcia, Morgan and Emily reached it too with their drinks.

"Gorgeous grey-matter, what was that?" Garcia quipped.

"I'm going undercover as domesticated street musician," Spencer said simply before he looked at Holly and said, "I will take three cheeseburgers with two French fries and three plates. One chicken salad with garlic juice and small fries for the lady over there," he motioned at Ashley, "and three orange juices."

"Four," Ashley corrected him.

"And whatever the three of them already order," Spencer finished.

"I'll come with the drinks in a moment," Holly nodded.

"Ashley," Garcia squealed. "What you are doing here?"

"I was invited along," Ashley said simply. "It's great to see you all."

"Where did you get those cute angels?" Garcia asked curiously when she sat down and moved on the seat to sit close to Ashley and Aaron.

"Directly from their mother," Spencer said simply when Morgan and Emily sat down next to Garcia.

"So you are baby-sitting?" Emily asked curiously.

"No," Spencer shrugged. "If I was baby-sitting it would mean that even with the lowest pay of five dollars per hour I would have made two and a half grand and trust me I would notice additional two and half grand on my account but instead I'm two and half grand short which in the end means that I don't have five grands as weird as it sounds."

"You would have to baby-sit for a very long time for five bucks per hour to get two and half grand," Morgan pointed out.

"Three weeks, twenty-four hours per day, minus four hours that I'm short from three weeks," Spencer said simply.

"So you aren't baby-sitting," Garcia said slowly.

"I'm not baby-sitting," Spencer shook his head. "I believe that the term you are looking for is called parenting. As of last week I have sole custody of Noah Joseph and Aaron James Reid, at the moment three years, eight months and eighteen days old."

"You are…" Emily started.

"You became a father and you didn't say a word," Morgan said calmly.

"I became a single father and I didn't say a word," Spencer confirmed. "For the record I was informed that I was a father three weeks ago and throwing up a party wasn't exactly high on my list of things to do after I had undergone two major shocks in a span of four days and I received the other when I didn't manage to recover from the first."

"You should have said something, anything…" Emily started.

"When?" Spencer asked tersely. "Before or after you dumped Forenstein case on me? Because that case appeared on my desk when I went to the kitchen for coffee and I didn't have a chance to reach my desk when you hared out to straighten the issues with Strauss. Oops, my bad."

"You could have went to lunch with us…" Emily started again.

"I could have if I wasn't dealing with Forenstein during lunch so I could make it home in time for dinner," Spencer said simply.

Emily had a decency to look down at the table.

"Just one more thing for you Emily," Spencer grimaced. "Next time you try to emotionally coerce me into doing something weigh your arguments properly because one dead person weighs more than six alive ones and 'I'm not sure that I can make it' means exactly that 'I'm not sure that I can make it' and not 'might succumb to guilty trip' and I will burst your bubble, your coercion didn't succeed and next one won't succeed either."

"But you came. Alone, I should add and you still didn't say a word," Garcia pointed out.

"Because hey I became a father three weeks ago and thank you I'm fine, pass the parsley and stop nicking my onions is not the best way to speak about it especially when all one's mental shields are at the lowest. It's my life, Garcia and I share good and bad news on my own terms, when I'm ready to talk about them and more importantly when I know that I can handle the consequences," Spencer said simply.

"It explain why you acted like a last prat to JJ," Garcia muttered. "Thank you," she said to Holly who arrived with their food.

"No, it doesn't," Spencer muttered. "My issues with Jennifer are what they are, my issues with Jennifer. My issues with single fatherhood are my issues with single fatherhood. They don't intertwine with one another. You just don't stab someone in the back, say sorry, continue pretending that nothing had changed and hope that the person you stabbed will take the hint and will pretend that nothing had changed too. And then when it's not working you don't come back to stab them again hoping that this time they will really get the hint. That's not how it works, that's not how it's ever going to work. Nothing stable can be build over a lie but I guess that this is how it always goes… Let him not deceive himself and trust in emptiness, vanity, falseness and futility, for this shall be his recompense… My fault, my bad but I'm done with it, I quit, I concede, I forfeit, however you name it I'm done and I have too much on my shoulders to care about what's going to happen now. No more bull-poo and if someone cannot accept it, fine and have a nice life, without me around."

"You know that no bull-poo works both ways, don't you?" Morgan said pointedly.

"That's exactly why I'm imploring it," Spencer said simply.

"Then answer me this question, how do you feel today?" Morgan asked.

"The most of everything hungry because I'd spend all morning outside but other than that satisfied, content, achieved, assured and clear-headed. I also feel a bit frustrated, slightly tired but the most of all relieved," Spencer answered.

And this could be everything because after he listed his emotions they dug into their food but it was after Ashley left to return home and Garcia and Emily claimed that they had to do shopping when he was able to add to the list one more thing he missed in past months.

While the girls had left Spencer remained behind because the twins needed to go to the bathroom again and even if Morgan remained behind Spencer fully expected to find him gone upon leaving the bathroom but Spencer found him standing by the door to the restaurant with the stroller in front of him.

When he saw Spencer Morgan nodded and stepped out of the restaurant dragging the stroller behind. Once Spencer buckled Noah and Aaron in the stroller and straightened his back he felt that Morgan's hand landing on his shoulder with a quick, tight squeeze.

"I'm disappointed that you thought that you couldn't tell me about your sons earlier but as much as I want to whack you across the head with rolled up newspaper I'm proud of you, Kid, because of today and because of them," he motioned at the twins with his head.

Spencer smiled at Morgan before he said lightly, "Kid with kids?"

"Kid doesn't suit you any longer," Morgan gave him small smile. "How would you like the other name for donkey's butt?"

"Crack-hole!" Aaron piped up.

"Donkey's butt isn't workplace appropriate," Spencer quipped before he frowned. "Ever saw The Incredibles?"

"Come on Jack-Jack, you look like you need a nap and I have few hours to spare before the match," Morgan said simply.

"You know what?" Spencer said simply. "I don't know if I should find it insulting or endearing that even if you agreed to drop the Kid I still manage to end being a kid."

"Two words, Pretty Boy, molten lava," Morgan quipped as he started pushing the stroller. "How much that thing weighs?"

"The world, Morgan, it weights the world," Spencer chuckled as he started following his sons with his friend.

_He who does not have the courage to speak up for his rights cannot earn the respect of others._

_Rene G. Torres_

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><p><em><em>Feedback is love.<em>_

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	3. Carry Each Other

**Title: **Attitude Adjustment

**Warnings: **Spoilers up to Proof. Mild swearing.

**Pairings:** No explicit ones. Reid versus the Team, somewhat Reid & Team centric. _Testosterone filled chapter._

**Summary:** "Definition of friendship consist from existence of mutual honesty, equality, sympathy, empathy, desire of doing what is the best for the other person and mutual trust."

**Word count**: Past 16 500 and heading up.

**DISCLAIMER**: The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television own Criminal Minds. I just took them out to play and I promise to put them back when I'm done.

_Feedback __is __welcomed with open arms. Thanks for all of Your support so far._

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><p><em>It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.<em>

_Marlene Dietrich_

**Attitude Adjustment****: Carry Each Other**

Maybe it was the effect of the emotional roller-coaster he hitched the ride on in past three weeks or maybe it was overwhelming relief that despite a lot of things that changed in those three weeks he still had someone who had his back. He knew that he had support in his neighbors and it was good but a lot more comforting was support in the team.

He walked away too early from Hotch, Rossi and JJ to learn if he got some from either but that Morgan stayed after lunch with him and offered to keep an eye on the twins while Spencer slept right now was more than he expected and more than he hoped for.

It wasn't that he expected Morgan to walk away completely. No, he expected an earful and he got some of it but it didn't weigh as much as he expected. There was a difference between being supposedly dead and between prioritizing that what was the most important were the kids.

He wasn't forgiven for his own deception in the form of omitting the truth but he was almost excused, almost.

So in the end he slept. It wasn't for a very long time, just nine minutes past one blessed hour of a nap and when he crawled his way to coffee express he could hear that Morgan was still there and judging by excited exclamation the twins were having fun with him.

He was more coherent after first sip of coffee and he realized that when he was asleep company arrived. Apparently his earlier plan had failed and Jeff came around and now together with Morgan and the twins they were building the towers from blocks on the living-room floor.

"Well, hello Sleeping Beauty," Jeff chipped.

"How was your case?" Spencer shrugged. "You were getting away awfully fast."

"I got called off when I reached the car," Jeff said simply. "You ever got one of those cases when you are prepared for the worst but when you get down to the scene it turns out to be plain old meh?"

"No," Spencer said simply. "We get to work after the scene was processed for evidence, wrong spelled CSI."

"That's Senior Field Special Agent for you," Jeff quipped.

"I was Supervisory Special Agent when you were just Probationary Field Agent and I was in the academy when you didn't even have an inkling to join the agency," Spencer shrugged.

"Well not everybody is born a genius and I needed to take some time to get a Master from criminology," Jeff said simply. "Speaking about genius, would you mind giving a once over to the file on your desk because all of our resources were stonewalled and when Hopkins grunts 'your FBI buddy should take a look at it' it's really bad."

"Cold case?" Spencer asked curiously.

"North Pole, but it has connection with South Canada cold case and we had been over those files so many times that I can recite everything in my sleep and Frassier is on his best way to get there in few more days," Jeff answered.

"Hopkins called me your FBI buddy?" Spencer smirked. "That's huge."

"I guess Norman's case left him impressed enough to get you on the very short list of FBI agents he would willingly cooperate without pulling a rank or jurisdiction or both," Jeff shrugged.

"He was impressed because teacher's assistant with FBI's credentials that looks like he never got his hands dirty had crawled through the garage that looked like a butcher shop to recover two years old daughter of a psychopath who slipped past the psych evaluations and saved you all from a wild goose chase," Spencer quipped. "Trust me, me getting down and dirty had more to do with it than my ability to list statistics on child abductions."

"Well, that too," Jeff grinned. "But he doesn't admit easily that he wouldn't mind having the consultant as a full time agent."

"Another offer to my corkboard," Spencer rolled his eyes. "Coffee?"

"Waited for you to ask, the usual," Morgan grinned. "Corkboard?"

"Kate's idea," Jeff explained. "Ego boasting tactic. I'm surprised that it didn't manage to topple over."

"I'm surprised that it actually fit there," Spencer muttered. "But Kate gave me an idea, I just need some time which closet is more comfortable for me to do that. You saw those cork mats that you can glue to the wall?"

"You mean that wall between the closet and the guest bathroom?" Jeff asked. "There is an actual cork mat under all those papers and pins?"

"Yeah and I even saw it completely empty," Spencer shrugged. "She gave me few other ideas that might be handy but to do it my credit card needs a huge boast of cash so it's going to wait a month or two until I will become credible client again."

"And you aren't credible client now?" Morgan asked skeptically. "Come on. You can walk out from casino without raising an alarm with five grands. You are go to guy when it comes to psychological and sociological conferences…"

"I spend more on travel and lodgings," Spencer pointed out.

"You guest lecture on at the very last two universities on variety of subjects…"

"Three," Spencer interjected. "And as a guest lecturer I get the scraps."

"You used to teach at juvenile detention…"

"Pro bono," Spencer cut in. "But as of late I have more expenses than actual income and for now I'm not credible enough client for the bank to get the credit for a new car."

"You are replacing your Volvo?" Morgan asked curiously.

"Upgrading," Jeff mouthed. "His own words," he added when Morgan looked at him. "Not that there is much to upgrade mind you. He has been piece hunting since February and only two weeks ago he had been informed that with all the work that needs to be done with it it's cheaper to buy a new car. So for the past two weeks he had been car hunting."

"I thought that you called it being whinny," Spencer snorted.

"That's because I'm not going out with you again to search for ideal car," Jeff said simply.

"You aren't," Spencer shrugged.

"Oh no," Jeff groaned. "Tell me it's not going to be lime green…"

"It's not," Spencer grinned. "I'm more into purple…"

"Dodge?" Morgan grinned. "Chevrolet?"

"No," Jeff shook his head. "Another Volvo. He is faithful to the brand. Not very patriotic."

"My patriotism is just fine but it can't squeeze into parking lot, especially since the Harris bought their fifth generation Lincoln Continental," Spencer shrugged.

"Speaking about Lincoln," Jeff shrugged. "Kyle barely managed to slip past it when I was coming back, Ben had to replace third front bumper in past two months and I'm running out of storage bricks to keep that thing from rolling into my car. Reckon that four of us would be able to persuade MPD to tow that thing away since Mr Harris is not going to use it for a longer while?" he asked curiously.

"Not a chance," Spencer snorted when he picked up the coffee and brought them to the living-room. "You will hear in return that four feds should be capable of handling the situation on their own."

"Great, which means that all we need is a corpse in navy suit with a stash of cocaine and TNT hidden inside the trunk of that car then all of us will have jurisdiction over that car," Jeff muttered.

"Four jurisdictions?" Morgan asked curiously.

"FBI, NCIS, DEA and ATF," Spencer explained. "Which considering that this building houses thirty-one flats four federal agents make it the safest house in the neighborhood."

"We also have our own hospital," Jeff added dryly. "Psychiatrist, plastic surgeon, dermatologist, orthopedist and a nurse."

"And school," Spencer continued. "PE, French, math, biology, English and history."

"Let's not forget about retired chopper pilot, accountant, journalist and cook," Jeff added. "And what that guy who is never there does for a living?" he looked at Spencer.

"Builds bridges all over the country," Spencer answered. "And four bankers."

"Right, party-hardy," Jeff nodded. "And you forgot two firefighters, two IT specialist, three lawyers, retired preschool teacher and the Harris."

"That's thirty-nine," Morgan said.

"I didn't say that they all live separately," Jeff shrugged.

"Remember where you are," Spencer pointed out.

"Right," Jeff nodded. "Little ears."

**Attitude Adjustment**

The knock on the door came late, long after Morgan and Jeff left and Spencer put Noah and Aaron to sleep with minimal fuss over a bath and dinner. The knock itself was a courtesy bestowed on him because his visitor had his own set of keys and two bottles of beer.

"May I come in?" Hotch asked through closed door.

"The door are still open," Spencer said simply. "Let yourself in, I need to check on the boys."

He didn't need to check upon them because he knew that they were sleeping soundly but it gave him time to get his mental shields up for a pep-talk. When he reentered the room Hotch was already seated at the dining table and had two glasses of beer in front of him and a plate of pretzels.

"How is Jack?" Spencer asked simply.

"At sleepover party," Hotch answered. "I know it's hard…"

"And I know that you know," Spencer shrugged as he continued standing by the table, facing Hotch. "If there is one thing I can trust you with right now it's understanding single fatherhood. When you are doing for a living what we do you have to trust people around you implicitly, not only people who are there for your sons when you are gone but also people you work with, you have to be sure that the person who is standing right next to you won't stab you in the back when you turn around."

"We had no other choice," Hotch said quietly. "It was…"

"The only way?" Spencer snorted. "Think again, Hotch. Who do you think you work with kindergarten students who babble around everything they hear or adult profilers who deal with TS/SCI material on daily basis? You think that we wouldn't be able to understand the idea of keeping a secret? That we wouldn't understand how many lives were at stake if one of us slipped? That Emily's life, our lives were on the line? Instead you allowed us to walk into that mess blindsided and you and I know what happens when an agent walks into a situation blindsided, shit happens, Hotch, people get wounded, lives are lost."

"I'm not sorry for following an order, Reid," Hotch said calmly.

"Of course you aren't," Spencer muttered. "After all an order is an order. Never mind that said order risks the integrity and effectiveness of the team. Never mind that said order comes from the mouth of a woman who knows that said order compromises your own moral and work code. Congratulations, Hotch, you finally managed to put yourself above the team and I sincerely hope that you had shreds of decency to lose few nights of sleep because of it… I know I did," Spencer spat.

"And what you did in Durant?" Hotch asked quietly.

"In Durant I was repeatedly harassed by your junior profiler. In Durant I had my profiling skills and almost eight years of experience challenged by said junior profiler in front not only the team but also local LEOs," Spencer sneered. "I flew over the handle and I'm sorry for doing it in front of the locals but I'm not sorry for putting Jennifer in her place. She wanted to know the truth, she got it and it's more than I got from her in past seven months."

"She is your friend…" Hotch started.

"Definition of friendship consist from existence of mutual honesty, equality, sympathy, empathy, desire of doing what is the best for the other person and mutual trust. Jennifer hadn't showed none of them in past seven months aside of moderate levels of sympathy but then everybody shows moderate levels of sympathy to a man who is bawling his eyes out on your couch," Spencer snorted. "Hell, even my neighbor spend two hours at comforting me after I got informed that my mum tried to commit suicide for the second time in past four months and he isn't really touchy-feely."

"You didn't say a word," Hotch said quietly. "About your headaches, about your mum, about your sons."

"Because I've dealt as best as I could with my mum and now it's out of my hands. Everything I can do about it is trusting medicine to work and trust the doctors to not leave her unsupervised with meds again. It has been taken care of for now," Spencer said simply.

He walked over to the walk-in closet that in past three weeks served as his office space and pulled from the drawer of the desk a single sheet of paper before he walked over to the table sat down, took a sip of beer and pushed the paper towards Hotch.

Hotch scanned it quickly, frowned, straightened his back and said stiffly, "It's incomplete."

Spencer nodded and took another sip of his beer, "I know. It lacks the date and my signature. My life is no longer my own, Hotch, and this job is hard enough without dealing with bullshit from people I'm supposed to trust with my life. All I'm asking for is honesty, even if it would be brutal, I can take it but I won't take another lie, not from you."

"I cannot promise you that I will never lie, Reid," Hotch shook his head. "You can't expect that from me…"

"What I expect from you, Hotch, is to be you. I expect you to be the same man who never compromised his moral and work code for himself but willingly went deaf and blind when it became evident that his agent was using highly addictive drug. I expect you to be the same man who put all regulations aside and did not rest until the attacker of his technical analyst was shot dead. I expect you to be the same man who didn't even write off for insubordination the agent who almost got his head blown up on a case and who willingly compromised the integrity of the team because he wasn't himself. I expect you to be the unit chief who accepts personal cases because the peace of mind of his agents are worth more to him than regulations. I expect you to be the same man who admitted to me that if we found the kidnapped family of a cop dead then he wouldn't be able to hold it together and he would just quit," Spencer said calmly before he added softly, "I don't expect you to change, I expect you to understand…"

"Reid…" Hotch started.

"I expect you to understand that I can still do my job but I cannot be good at the job when I feel threatened by another agent, who thinks that she can fucking lie to me for months on end and expects me to be fine after I'd realized the extent of her betrayal. I expect you to understand that I'm not fine, that I fell down enough times already to know that next time I won't bounce back. I expect you to understand that more than half of the time here I'm terrified out of my mind that I would say or do something that will permanently scar my sons for life. I'm scared shitless that I won't be able to be the father they need and deserve. Their mother walked away on them without a word and all she ever said to them about leaving was that they were going to stay with me now. They didn't deserve to have their lives turned upside down. I'm all they have now, all they will ever have and I have to do everything right by them, Hotch. I'm sure that this, you can understand," Spencer said quietly.

"I can't promise you that I will never lie, Reid," Hotch shook his head. "Not when too much is at stake. It wasn't only about keeping all of you safe, it was about keeping the team together. Telling you the truth right away put at risk not only my job, not only JJ's job. A lot more was on the line than you can imagine and trust me when this would happen Senate Committee would be the last of our worries and from that place there won't be any way to return. That, I couldn't risk, not even on the price of trust of all of you."

"You are an idiot Hotch if you think that this won't affect us," Spencer snorted softly. "Some of us are simply doing better job at concealing it than the others. Some of us concentrate on good and pretty instead of bad and ugly but those issues won't disappear just because you will chose to overlook them."

"I'm not overlooking them Reid, I'm dealing with them," Hotch said simply.

"Yeah, I felt it," Spencer muttered. "For the record it didn't work because no amount of glue and rubber bands is able to hold together something that had been broken beyond repair. Jennifer made her decision, I made mine. I can work with her and I can be civil to her but if you expect me to forgive her on the spot seven months of deceit, seven months of lies and seven shittiest months of my life so we can be friends again I strongly suggest you to get your head checked. This is it, I'm done with her."

**Attitude Adjustment**

The call came at 4 AM on Sunday morning, an unforgivable hour for anyone but even more unforgivable to someone who had been up since the early hours of the previous morning until half past midnight even with a little over an hour mid-day nap.

But as much as he wanted to bite the head off of the offending bugger Spencer couldn't bring himself to do so. Not when the voice in the receiver sounded almost automatic and drained from all strength. Not when he heard a distinctive mewl of a fussy infant somewhere in the background.

"Just get up the stairs. Apartment 44, the door will be open. You can stay here for as long as you need to," Spencer said tiredly.

He hung up, dragged himself up from the bed and into the kitchen. He put on the coffee and started rummaging the cabinets for Cerelac which Noah's and Aaron's pediatrician suggested Spencer to feed the boys from time to time.

By the time the door opened he was pouring in the coffee into two big mugs and was almost done with Cerelac. He turned his head towards the door and abandoned reaching out for sugar bowl to sweeten the coffee in favor of rushing towards the door.

With Vicky Anderson secured on his left hip with his free hand he removed the bags from her father's shoulders and placed them on the ground by the guest bathroom door before he directed Anderson to the breakfast bar and sat him on the bar chair.

He pushed one of the mugs along with sugar bowl towards Anderson and started to untangle Vicky from her blouse.

"Talk," Spencer instructed him. "I didn't understand half of the things you said on the phone."

"I don't want to return to that house ever again," Anderson said quietly. "The coroner said thirty-six hours. Thirty-six effing hours and no one… no one heard a word, a single cry, a single mewl! No one fucking cared to even come to the door for thirty-six effing hours!"

"Helen?" Spencer asked gently.

"COD couldn't be determined on site," Anderson said shakily. "Forty hours now, I just got out of the hospital with Vicky… I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I just couldn't…"

"Believe me, I can understand that," Spencer said calmly. "You can stay here for as long as you need to. I don't mind."

"Few days," Anderson sighed. "I just need to… find something temporary and I…"

"Don't make me smack you with rolled up newspaper," Spencer scoffed. "Stay few weeks and find something decent and long-term."

"Trust me you wouldn't appreciate any more wake up calls than those that come from the job," Anderson grimaced. "Vicky is teething and she is incredibly fussy and she is quite a handful without it."

"Trust me, I can survive fussy and handful," Spencer said simply. "I know certain fussy that is handful and also certain handful that is fussy. As long as she won't blow this place up I will be fine."

"You are too generous sometimes," Anderson sighed.

"I'm not generous," Spencer shrugged. "I just understand what it means to have your life turned upside down," he added as he sat Vicky on the counter so she was leaning against his chest with her back and started spoon-feed with Cerelac. "Now, that's a good girl," he beamed at her and added, "have another one."

Vicky gurgled happily which made her spew some of the Cerelac which Spencer whipped with his hand from her chin before he asked, "You have something for her with you?"

"Just some clothes and few nappies everything is still at the house," Anderson shook his head.

"Easily remedied," Spencer shrugged. "Leave me the keys to your house and the list of things you will need for next few days and where I can find them and you will have them here before lunch."

"Few changes of clothes for myself, a few more for her, her portable crib, her stroller, her playpen and toys, the rest I can buy easily," Anderson said tiredly.

"Consider it done. Now finish your coffee and go to sleep, you look like you are about to fall over. Take the futon in my bedroom for now, I will fix the couch by the evening," Spencer said.

"I will crash there now," Anderson said.

"Not until evening," Spencer shook his head. "You need more than two hours of sleep and trust me, that's as much as you will get if you crash on the couch now."

"Why?" Anderson asked curiously and he yawned immediately after he asked.

"You remember that part about me understanding what it means to have your life turned upside down?" Spencer said simply. "I wasn't only referring to resurrection of Emily Prentiss, in fact Emily has nothing to do with upside down part. I'm a single father of monozygotic twins aged three years and almost nine months old and if you take the couch they won't let you sleep longer than half of hour after they will wake up. I can keep them out of the bedroom but not out from the living-room, take the futon."

"Dear God," Anderson mouthed. "Over three years…"

"Try three weeks, that's how long I knew and how long they are living with me," Spencer corrected him. "Intra-department memo isn't out yet but I have a feeling that it will be by Monday's lunch courtesy to Garcia, it's a good thing that I'm going to spend three days on a conference in Baltimore."

"Their mother…"

"Australia, not interested anymore, I have sole custody," Spencer shrugged. "Futon, now."

"Yes sir," Anderson yawned. "And Reid?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks and congratulations," Anderson smiled weakly.

"Don't thank me yet, thank me after you will decide that you can survive few weeks with Aaron and Noah," Spencer pointed out.

**Attitude Adjustment**

"You are too merciful for you own good," Jeff decided when he put the last bag down by the kitchen counter. "And wardrobe?"

"Privacy, living-room doesn't have any," Spencer pointed out from the wardrobe. "If I can fit in there he will too. How are the kids?"

"Vicky pulled off her socks and now she is gnawing on her right big toe, Noah and Aaron are finding it terrifyingly fascinating. I bet you a fiver that they will lose socks in next five minutes," Jeff answered. "Anything else?"

"No, enjoy your Sunday and thanks for help," Spencer said.

"Anything for a fellow underpaid federal agent in need," Jeff bowed. "If you aren't up to cook for dinner I can bring over lasagna."

"You are still bent over that woman enough to work on your stamina?" Spencer snickered.

"My stamina is fine, thanks for interest," Jeff snorted. "It's the patience department where I need to improve. See you in the evening," he added and left Spencer's flat.

Spencer emerged from the wardrobe where he was putting up the mattresses for Anderson to have a private place to sleep even if the only thing that fit in there was the mattresses and small side-table with a lamp.

He went for his phone which was still laying on the counter, on the way noting that Noah and Aaron just like Jeff predicted had pulled off their socks and started tickling Vicky's toes.

He dialed Hotch's number and waited through three rings.

"I need the number to Weston's private cell-phone," Spencer said simply when Hotch picked up.

"Weston from team Beta?" Hotch asked curiously. "Why do you need his cell-phone?"

"Since I'm advocating for his agent," Spencer shrugged.

"Weston called me last night that they are getting out of the rotation list until Tuesday," Hotch said. "Which agent?"

"Anderson," Spencer answered. "Bereavement leave effective immediately and everything Weston can get out of Strauss."

"What?" Hotch muttered.

"Helen departed without the possibility of returning two days ago and no one realized what happened until Anderson himself returned home. Imagine how past nine hours looked for him. You know Weston, he is not a happy camper when he is robbed from his beauty sleep and saving Anderson from taking the burn of Weston's bad mood is the last thing I can do for him now," Spencer explained.

"Do you know what happened?" Hotch asked alarmed.

"Not much," Spencer shook his head. "It had to be sudden and if it was an illness then it had to be dormant. COD couldn't be determined on the site so I'm hazarding cerebral aneurism or something similar."

"He is with you now?" Hotch asked.

"And he is going to stay a longer while," Spencer nodded then he heard the knocking. "Weston's number?"

"I will call him," Hotch said. "He can't write me for insubordination."

"Call me back when you will know something," Spencer said as he approached the door and hung up before he turned the knob.

In front of him was standing JJ, with Henry propped on her left hip.

"Spence," she started. "I'm so sorry…"

"Do you know U2?" Spencer asked impatiently. "Bono?" he added. "_With or Without You_? _I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For_?"

"I heard of them," JJ nodded.

"They have a song I strongly suggest you to get familiar with," Spencer said sourly. "It's called _One_. Bye for now, I will be at the office on Thursday," and with that comment he closed the door in front of her.

_Have you come here for forgiveness__  
><em>_Have you come to raise the dead__  
><em>_Have you come here to play Jesus__  
><em>_To the lepers in your head_

_Bono_

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><p><em>Feedback is love.<em>

_TBC..._

_AN: Harsh, I know but I think that the extent of the damage on Reid's and JJ's friendship deserves more than one shocked sorry uttered right after she insulted him. So yes, Reid is still pissed off at her; yes, she will try to mend the fences and yes, Reid isn't going to make it any easier for her. _

_As for Anderson, for all of Reid's anger he needs a distraction from his personal issues and having to be the stronger party for someone who is at lowest point of his life in circumstances similar to Reid's own is a distraction and around Anderson right now Reid can't be overly angsty. As for why Anderson went to Reid... I will explain it in next chapter._


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